You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The maid of honor just puked.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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