the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
