This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
