I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
