There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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