if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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