She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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