I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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