five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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