WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My penis needs a shock collar
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
