when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
