I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
