My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
