He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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