..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
