He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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