When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
