There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
