Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He? As in you personified your dick?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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