Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
