All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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