we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
