CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
whose parrot is this?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
