You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
