I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well most of my day revolves around power hour
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i think i just lost a toe
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
