How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
