today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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