So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
