Umm I'm too high to move.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
