There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm both gender and math confused
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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