We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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