I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
