If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I believe in your delicious
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
