We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
