So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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