Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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