dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
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BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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