Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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