my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
