That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize