I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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