She's JV to your varsity
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.