Nicole vs. Life
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.