so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype