well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you