My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
well you can't waste a boner
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
