yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
