You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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