I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
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sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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