Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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