Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
