we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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