so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
