Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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