I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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