Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize