I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
