An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
