dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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