how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
