You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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