We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
