I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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