erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
