A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
