Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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