bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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