If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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